My own Sun
by silent15
Summary: A look inside Solaire's head before the last fight at the Kiln of the First Flame


**Gah, I should be working on the next chapter of _Business as Usual_ but this idea wouldn't leave me alone.**

**The usual disclaimer here. I don't own Dark Souls or any of the characters therein.**

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><p>He stood at the wall of mist that barred the entry to the Kiln, the familiar weight of his sword in his hand. He had hoped it wouldn't have come to this, that he wouldn't have to fight the Lord of Sunlight, that he could have found his sun without coming here. But he had promised the Chosen Undead that he would help him, and Solaire had never been one to go back on his word.<p>

As if he could hear Solaire's thoughts the Chosen Undead looked over at Solaire's ghostly form, his face hidden behind his helm. He was a different man from the hopeful young pyromancer Solaire had met in the Undead Burg. The many deaths he had suffered throughout his quest had taken their toll on the man, turning optimism into cynicism and hope into bitterness. His desire to help people, to make things better, had backfired badly on him, forcing him to put down a hollow Laurentius and to take care of the Fair Lady after he unwittingly left her without a sister. And still he pushed forwards, hoping that relighting the First Flame would make all the death _mean_ something. How could Solaire refuse to aid him now?

Still, it didn't mean that Solaire had to like what they were about to do.

The Chosen Undead spoke, "It's almost over my friend. One way or another it ends now."

Shifting Artorias' Greatsword's position on his shoulder, he stepped up to the mist and walked slowly thorough it. Solaire paused before following, the words he spoke inaudible to anyone who was not themselves a phantom.

"Forgive me… Father."

He was not sure what to expect when he entered the Kiln. Part of him expected to see his father as he was on the day Solaire was stripped of the mantle of war god for his foolishness and cast out. A more rational part of him argued that Gwyn had been inside the Kiln for over a thousand years and must surely have been weakened by it. But he had never expected this. His father was little more than a burnt corpse dressed in rags, clutching a flaming sword. When he saw Solaire he gave no acknowledgement of his son and instead simply charged with all the insanity of a hollow.

Solaire stood there in shock for a few seconds. No matter what, his father had always projected an air of regal assurance, always appearing to be in perfect control. Seeing his father reduced to little more than a beast was painful to watch. Then Gywn's sword rebounded off his shield and soon he was unable to think beyond the next blow.

Solaire watched as Gwyn collapsed under a final blow from the Chosen Undead's blade. The battle had been furious, Gwyn's attack relentless. Yet for all his aggression Solaire realised that Gwyn was a shadow of his former self, the Lord Soul that had once burned so bright reduced to little more than cinders. As his father's body began to crumble a wave of guilt washed over Solaire. Yes, his father had cast him out, but he was still his father and Solaire had just helped kill him. The knowledge that his father had likely gone hollow long ago did little to cushion the blow.

Looking down Solaire saw that he was no longer suffused with the distinctive golden glow of a phantom and when he looked around he could see no sign of the Chosen Undead. He stood alone in the Kiln of the First Flame and for a moment, Solaire felt like he was the only being in the world. A faint light glowed in the darkness and Solaire found himself walking towards it on reflex. As the dark receded he found himself looking at a bonfire, no different from any of the others dotting Lordran. Yet somehow Solaire knew what this was. Stretching out his hand to touch the bonfire, Solaire watched as the fire began to slowly crawl up his arm, growing brighter as it did so. And he knew what he found at long last. At long last he had found his very own sun.

He just wished the cost had not been so dear.

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><p><strong>OK, never written anything vaguely angsty before so have at it. Tell me if it's good, bad, abysmal (likely), or just indifferent. Constructive criticism is as always, greatly <strong>**appreciated.**

**This little one-shot was based of the popular fan theory that Solaire is the third child of Gwyn, the war god who did _something_ that got him stripped of his title and cast out. And then it popped into my head that you're effectively asking Solaire to help you kill his own father. From there this plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone.**

**Regarding _Business as Usual, _I am so sorry for the delay and I have not abandoned it I promise! I've realised that fic is much more of an ambitious undertaking than I gave it credit for when I started. So I've spent much of the past while working out where the hell I plan on taking that fic. That said the next chapter is in the works and is already nearly as long as the previous chapter. I'll do what I can to ensure it's posted by the new year.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading!**


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